Imagine all the Spurs fans, walking hand in hand

Imagine being born in 1996. A child born out of a bit of excitement after England beat Holland 4-1. Your dad shagged your mum in the Sirloin toilet in Chingford creating you. You’ve never seen Spurs finish above Arsenal. You’ve also seen Arsenal win the league at your ground, go unbeaten, win the double twice, and overhaul your FA Cup wins. You also still don’t know who it was that knocked your mum up in the toilet that fateful day you were conceived. Imagine being born in 1991. Your dad got a bit over excited at Gazza’s free kick and screwed your mum there and then on the sofa creating you. You are now 25. You’ve seen Spurs finish above Arsenal, twice, but can’t remember them. You do however remember 2004. The year Arsenal went unbeaten. The year they won it at White Hart Lane. You celebrate Nayim, but you forget Parma. And a domestic cup double.alan-shearer_1378821c

Imagine being 35. You were born in 1981. Your dad shagged a random bird after the UEFA Cup win. She never saw him again. You are now a middle aged man in a job going no where. Your misses and kids have left you. You sit at home all day in your bed sit wondering where it all went wrong. Maybe you are thinking about becoming a YouTube star. Supplementing your minimum wage ware house job working in a distribution centre in Enfield.  You still go on about that Gazza free kick. 1991. But you forget Arsenal in 93. How excited were you in 2001 when you were 1-0 up? That was Sol Campbell’s last ever Spurs game. Injured giving away the free kick for Arsenal’s equaliser. I’m sure you remember your most successful captain in the last 30 years?article-1265626-0050462900000258-420_468x286

Imagine being born in 1966. A baby born out of the europhia of England’s World Cup win. Conceived in the car park of the Beehive Pub on White Hart Lane. Between the bins. You know the place. Well you are now 50. Only 15 more years till you can retire. And what a life of footballing disappointment you have lived. 50 years old and never seen your team win the league. In comparison, the 20 year old friend of your son who you’ve never met, you remember, from that bird you shagged in the Sirloin toilet in 96, he has seen his team win the league 3 times. And at White Hart Lane once. Your other son, born 5 years earlier after a fumble on the sofa with your then misses has also only even known failure. That must hurt.england-1966_2018017c

1951 you were born? Imagine that, after Spurs first won the league you say? You were 10 in 1961? Good for you. You are now 65. How’s retirement old boy? What? You know you have a 35 year old son out that that you never met? A bird you shagged after the 81 UEFA Cup win? Call Jeremy Kyle. He will be able to help you track him down. A family reunion. How nice. Just a pity you will die having seen your team win just the 1 league title. You are old enough to at least boast about being their, at White Hart Lane, in 1971 & 2004. That makes it 3 league titles you’ve seen right? Screen-Shot-2015-12-11-at-102353

Imagine being the old boy in the corner. Born just before the war broke out. 1936 to be exact. He is now 80. He is a survived. Those nights sleeping in the underground. Waking up the next day not knowing if your house would be there. Daddy never came back from WW2. He didn’t die. He just got with a nice Polish bird and never came home. He was 30. Probably still fed up of seeing Arsenal moving to North London and wining 5 league titles, whilst Tottenham of Middlesex only had a 2nd division title to show off. Anyway, you survived. Good for you. And by 15 you had already seen Spurs win their first league title. Although the you’d have to sit through Arsenal winning one first. And of course, 1961. Although you have also seen Arsenal win the league twice. You’re up to two. And you’re still just 25. At this rate Spurs will be in double figures for league titles before you die. Could even over take Arsenal.Untitled

13 league titles, you’ve only won 2.



21 thoughts on “Imagine all the Spurs fans, walking hand in hand

      1. DG2701

        It’s all the little tossers have left. After all they won’t be celebrating a league title so got to amuse themselves somehow!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  1. bill nic

    Ah. Touching. Will Woolwich scrape 5th this year Keano? haha. The futures bright, the futures lillywhite. COYS

    1. keenosafc Post author

      19 times. That is how often in a row Spurs have finished behind Arsenal. 1 season of it the other way changes nothing. You are still that fat ugly ginger kid who rarely gets laid. 55 years is it now?

      1. Steve

        How long are you going to make a prick of yourself? Any self respecting person would give up now. ‘Fat ugly ginger kid who rarely gets laid’ sounds a little too close for comfort, me thinks.

  2. Mark

    This is getting seriously embarrassing now. You muppets have lost it big time. You’re trying to think you are still relevant by writing article after (boring) article about Tottenham. You invented St Totteringham’s Day when you stopped competing for the league. What are you going to invent now? Just have a look at the recent blogs. We’re still bigger than Tottenham; we’re still the best team in London; we used to win the league. Meanwhile, Tottenham are just building with a togetherness while you lot whinge and moan about your manager; your players etc. Take a look at yourselves and the thousands of empty seats or, of course, carry on fixating about the little team down the road.

    1. DG2701

      Wow what a bitter little man you are 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

      Have you stopped crying in to your cornflakes yet? Another season passes by and you retards have nothing to show for it. 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

      1. DG2701

        Steve if there was any danger I would bring a dopey that Spurs fan in to the world I’d cut my own balls off. A world with not poxy Spurs fans would be a vast improvement!

  3. DG2701

    If I shagged a random bird between two bins then found out the little turd she gave birth to was a Spurs fan I would never ever want to meet the piece of crap. He would be a total embarrassment to me!!!
    Got to love the Albion 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      1. DG2701

        Only wankers on this planet all wear poxy Spurs shirts mate. Just face it. You are a shower of shit!

  4. Colin Pates

    I was born in 1976 to an Arsenal family from Burnt Oak. Wembley 86/7 ‘Arsenal are back! Arsenal are back! Whoa whoa!’ Quickly onto Anfield 89, sat on my dads shoulders as mayhem ensued. And then Copenhagen, 30,000 gooners in disbelief as Smudger’s goal held firm against a Parma team who included Tomas Brolin, Faustino Asprilla and Gianfranco Zola. Add to that a domestic cup double, a league title at Old Trafford (viewed from the champions section) and of course our (second!) league title in 2004 at Shit Cunt Lane.
    Yeah, the Emirates is a souless shit modern stadium but that doesn’t change history spuds. Not even a bit. Which is why you lot still talk about Gazza, 3-1, Ricky Villa (who?) and smashing up empty Arsenal pubs.
    Looking forward to the DVD (‘The year we came second’?)
    Forever in our shadow.

  5. Tony Hill

    Looking from the outside! How come, with all that success, Arsenal fans are the worst whingers in football? Any little blip and the Boo boys are out in full force. The song ‘Sing when your winning, only sing when your winning’ was made for Arsenal fans.


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