Arsenal Holdings plc Board Meeting

31st May 2017

**Transcript**

Agenda

Arsene Wenger’s new contact

Ivan Gazidis’s changes

Player recruitment

AOB

AW = Arsene Wenger
SK = Stan Kroenke
IG = Ivan Gazidis
TR = The Rest
Apologies: Josh Kroenke

Item 1 – Arsene Wenger’s new contact

SK: I have agreed with Arsene a new 2 year contract, any objections?
IG: I object SK: Arsene how do you find the objection?
AW: Overruled
SK: That’s agreed then, sign there Arsene
TR: *Snoring sounds*

Item 2 –Ivan Gazidis’s changes

IG: I want a director of football, a new medical team, a clear out of the deadwood and 2 new board members with football knowledge
SK: What do you think Arsene? AW: No to all of it especially the board members with football knowledge
SK: Not even John Cross?
AW: Who?
IG: If nothing changes I’ll resign, the MLS want me
SK & AW: OK, bye

Item 3 – Player recruitment

SK: Who do you want Arsene?
AW: What is the budget?
SK: £40m + £1
AW: Can we call it a warchest?
SK: Yes
AW: I know this great African kid in Belgium
SK: Anyone else?
AW: Ok, I’ll make derisory bids then say we tried to sign every world class player
SK: Will they affect the share price?
AW: No, but I’ll ask Ivan
IG: Waaa! Waaa! Waaa! I can’t hear you *IG has fingers in ears*
AW: It won’t, if it does I’ll sell our best players to Manchester City
SK: – Agreed TR: *Snoring sounds*

Item 4 – AOB

SK: Any more for any more?
IG: I resign
SK & AW: are you still here?
SK: Any news on commercial deals?
AW: don’t need them, we can fleece the fans, sorry customers, one thing though…
SK: What’s that Arsene?
AW: The press to be censored so they only say nice things about me, those bloody broken crests they use…
SK: You mean John Cross?
AW: Who?
SK: Never mind, anything else?
AW: Yes – we tell the fans 5th is the new first and they should be happy they get to pay the highest ticket prices in Europe to witness our mental strength
SK: Whatever you say Arsene, you’re the boss just keep my share price up, nothing else matters
AW: Yes Stan I am the boss
TR: *Snoring sounds*

*Meeting Ends*

PG

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