Arsenal star tees up a sick day

We all know that colleague who, at around lunch time, starts coughing a little. Nothing to obvious. Just a little splutter every now and again. As the afternoon go’s on, the coughing increases. They start making a bit of a noise. Oh I’m feeling a bit rough they mutter loudly to themselves, just as the boss walks past.

They appear to be battling on, bravely. The cough is annoying you, but they can’t help getting a little sick. See you tomorrow they say, as they skip out the office. As they walk down the road, the cough miraculously disappears. It is like leaving work has cleared up their oncoming illness. So they go to the pub, to meet their mate, which they had prepared to meet that evening previously.

Of course, when they started to feel ill in the afternoon, they did consider letting their pals know that they would flake out. That they would not turn up, as they were feeling rough, planned to eat a curry, have a glass of hot whiskey and lemon, and get an early night. So that they would be at work the next day.

But their instant recovery has changed their mind. They go to the pub. Meet their mates. Have some beer. A lot of beer. And stumble through their day at 2am with a kebab in hand.

And 6am when their alarm go’s off, suddenly they do not feel to great. It isn’t the 10 pints, or the kebab they ate, or the 4 hours sleep, it is that dreaded cold that was coming on yesterday afternoon returning with vengeance.

So they text their boss real sorry Steve. Feeling rough today. That cough I had yesterday has turned into full blown flu. Real sorry about this but I will not be in today.

And they roll over, go back to sleep, before waking up at lunch, going KFC and spending the afternoon playing FIFA, cuddling his dogs..

They think their colleagues are none the wiser. Imagining them sitting their saying poor Alex, he looked like he was getting ill last night, I hope he is OK, as they pick up his work load, to ensure that when he is well enough to work, he does not have too much of a back log.

The reality is we all know what happened. Alex spent an afternoon setting up a sick day, because he knew he was going out on the smash with his mates. He knew he would be hungover the next day, but was unable to book the time off, as it was short notice, and he had used all his holiday up on a 4 week trip to Chile earlier in the year.

And this is basically what Alexis Sanchez is doing, via the modern method of social media. Rather than coughing in the office, he has stuck up on Instagram that he is ill. He is due back to training with Arsenal on Sunday, but he will be too ill to fly. Wrapped up in his duvet in Chile with Atom and Humber licking his shaft. And the speculation begins…



2 thoughts on “Arsenal star tees up a sick day

  1. Johnno

    Hahaha, very apt. We should just cut our losses and bomb this little cunt out the club. He`s shown his true colours and will just go through the motions this season. He`ll sign a pre contract agreement in January and leave for fuck all next summer. Top player but an attitude like that is pure cancer.


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