#ITK Rule 1
Say 100 different things in a transfer window & hope one of them sticks.
Then tell the world “I told you so.”
#ITK Rule 2
When your imaginary deal falls through tell the world that either the fee or wages could not be agreed.
#ITK Rule 3
Always use the phrase:
“My Source tell me”
This guarantees you are genuine, and if the deal fails, it is not you that got it wrong, but your source.
#ITK Rule 4
If possible, find a tweet in a foreign language to support your claim.
Because reading it in another language helps.
#ITK Rule 5
Even better than a foreign language tweet is pretending to be from abroad yourself.
Nothing says ‘reliable’ more than a Venezuelan living in America tweeting about a French player playing in Spain joining an English club.
#ITK Rule 6
Be authentic & let everyone know when he is coming, but have an excuse ready when he does not.
#ITK Rule 7
At some point, say the deal will not happen, but it is not completely dead.
That way, you are right if the deal happens, right if it does not.
#ITK Rule 8
The delete button is your friend.
People will forget the 99 deals you got wrong for the one deal you got right.
#ITK Rule 9
Chuck in a few obscure tweets where not much is mentioned.
Use the terms “big transfer” and “deal of the summer”
No matter who we sign, claim that is who you were talking about.
#ITK Rule 10
If and when you do get exposed as a fraud. Shut your twitter account down.
Then create a new one and start again.
And remember, you have not made it as an ITK until your tweets are quoted by The Metro
For a full list of players ITK’s have linked to Arsenal this summer (over 70 in total) CLICK HERE