Arsene Wenger given new 5 year deal and £200m+ war chest

10 Replies

At last Wenger is going to put pen to paper and sign a new deal, whats shocking about this is it’s to take him upto 2022. Finally with promises from the board of a huge £200 million investment plus any sell on value from the sales of Ozil, Sanchez and Sanogo, Wenger has agreed to carry on the fight to go forwards with us Gunners and fight to win the Prem and CL.

https://twitter.com/JohnCrosspaper/status/847168929801932800

It’s been common knowedge for now that paying off the new ground has been the only reason why us Gunners haven’t challenged for the big 2 honours for the last 10years. But now the ground has been paid off the board are finally able to give Wenger the money he needs to play with the big boys and compete with the oil and duty free cash thats aided Manchester city, Chelsea and Leicester to win the league.

Stan Kroenke is said to be delighted that Wenger has finally decided to not retire and carry on running Arsenal Soccer Club PLC and only ask for £10million per year to do so. Mr Kroenke feels that’s more than value for money for a man now in his 70s who spends less than a vegan at an all you can eat hog roast.

The club is of the view that consistency is the most important factor when it comes to winning the league. And the consistency of Arsene Wenger’s management alongside the teams spirit and quality will see Arsenal through to the league title

With the concern of the other super rich clubs, the likes of Man Utd, Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool, leicester and upcoming Everton and Tottenham likely to try and outbid us on new talent, the club and Wenger are promising to go all out and bid £1 more than any other rival on any player on the wanted list, The Arsenal will not be looking back in 3 years time on the players we nearly signed anymore, the time for change is now.

Ivan Gasizdis the clubs CEO was sadly unavaible for comment but will to be delighted with Wengers new deal and can’t wait to sit back and count the added commerical revenue that it will bring forth.

The official club supporters group RednoAction are said to be delighted with the news and are busy planning a banner of Wengers pet cat ‘Jabba’ for the Red Wall which they say will only increase the amazing noise they generate.

I’m sure all Gunners out there will be as happy as me with this news and cant wait for the next 5 years of winning the top 4 trophy…

Gav

Spurs set to hire Wembley like a fat lad hires a prostitute

Leave a reply

Everyone has a mate. They are a tad overweight. A little bit weird. In their mid 30s. And never get laid. Eventually they crack and go onto adultwork.com. They find a nice cheap Eastern European. Usually Romanian or Bulgarian. They look for the cheapest. £50 for half an hour. Cum twice. Once from a blow job, the second from full sex. And they bite the bullet and pay for it.

We Spurs are that fat mate.

A lack of success over the last half a century, a lack of any sort of major honour over the last quarter of a century, a lack of Wembley visits, have left them in an awful state.

Instead of working at their game, improving, getting fitter, they have taken the easier way out by hiring Wembley for the next season or so. 27 games at full capacity.

Of course, their fans will boast about how they have played at Wembley more than any other club. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t really count if you have to pay for it.

Spurs are the fat lad who never gets laid. The fat lad who has to pay for it. The fat lad who boasts of his ‘success’ to his mates, who get a lot more of real success.

Everyone laughs at Spurs behind his back. They know the truth. A bit of a loser. Always trying to make up silly handshakes. Paying for sex, then boasting about how many different women he is has slept.

Enjoy Wembley Tottenham fans. Enjoy the commute. Enjoy the soulless atmosphere. Enjoy the lack of pubs in the area. Enjoy watching your team get spanked every week. Enjoy the feeling of winning nothing.

Keenos

Mesut Ozil v Dele Alli

4 Replies

“If he Mesut Ozil had half of what Dele Alli has got, that nasty streak, he would be ten times a better player than he is because he hasn’t got what Dele Alli has.”

They are the words uttered by Lee Dixon during England’s defeat against Germany.

Now I am not in the business of abusing Arsenal legends. And I will not abuse Lee Dixon. Legends have a right, and a platform, to give their opinion. Often the abuse on social media platforms they get from so called “Arsenal fans” is nothing short of a disgrace.

Even though you might be an Arsenal legend, it does not make you immune for criticism, and Lee Dixon’s comparison of Alli and Ozil is laugable.

It is that last line I find hilarious. Mesut Ozil hasn’t got what Dele Alli has.Let’s compare what both players ’have’:

One is a world class player who has won trophies throughout his career for club and country. The other spends his time making up silly handshakes.

Dele Alli is a player who I have rated since his days at MK Dons. I, like most, surprised how much he has developed. But he is yet to reach anywhere near the level of Mesut Ozil. Alli is a good player, but not a world class place. Germany won without Ozil. England lost with Alli in the side.

I think in summary, if Dele Alli achieves half as much as Mesut Ozil in his carer, he would be a ten times more successful player than he is, because at the moment, Dele Alli hasn’t got what Ozil has. Trophies.

Keenos